Things Your Dog Doesn’t Want You To Know
Humor
Dear Human:
Your dog probably puzzles you. Most of us do that. And most of us would like to keep things as they are: humans in the dark, dogs with the upper hand.
But we dogs are about to let you in a little secret. Okay, a lot of secrets.
We graduated first in our obedience class three times. This should tell you something. Puppies know that they’re being cute. They’re using you. We don’t sound anything like those silly voices you use to imitate us. We hate those ridiculous names you give some of us. Moonbeam is not a dignified name for a mutt. You might want to check your herb garden for fertilizer. We are only wearing this stupid birthday hat so we can get some cake. No self-respecting dog cares about his birthday. We are not spoiled, certainly not in comparison to teenage girls. We are in charge of the house. We let you pretend that you are. We’d be lost without you. We love you.It’s all in our new book, Things Your Dog Doesn’t Want You To Know, as told to humans Hy Conrad and Jeff Johnson. Even Steve Martin (yes, THAT Steve Martin) raves about us! Inside you’ll find revelations such as the reason we at the sofa (leather tastes very similar to rawhide), and what we really think of the costumes you dress us up in.
I’m not alone. Ten other courageous canines have stepped forward to tell you what your dog won’t – every last dirty, hairy bit of it. If you have dogs, love dogs, or have ever been baffled by a dog, this book is a must-have.
Things Your Dog Doesn’t Want You to Know answers the questions that dog owners have asked for centuries. The book is a collection of 115 humorous essays that reveal the truth behind some of the most baffling canine behavior, their hopes and dreams, their grudges and pleasures, and what they really think about us humans.
Peppered with lively, clever stories and visually appealing photographs, Things Your Dog Doesn’t Want You to Know is a verbal and visual delight that is laugh-out-loud funny. If you have dogs, love dogs, or have ever been baffled by a dog, this book is a must-have.
“A whimsical delight for dog lovers everywhere, this book will charm and remind readers why they fell in love with Rover to begin with.”
(Publishers Weekly Starred Review)
“I laughed, my dog howled.”
(Steve Martin)
“This is the perfect book for anyone who owns a dog, has ever owned one, or knows what a dog is. These guys made me laugh out loud—and captured my heart at the same time. The book is simply irresistible.
(Tony Shalhoub, star of the TV series Monk)
“If everyone owned a dog, we would have world peace. If everyone reads this book, they will go and get a dog and we will have taken a big step in the right direction. So this book can save the world. It will definitely change your life.”
(Terrence McNally, Playwright)
“The authors’ wry and witty insights into the minds of dogs are downright uncanny. Things Your Dog Doesn’t Want You to Know is hilarious and sensational.
(Rory Freedman, author of Skinny Bitch)
“Things Your Dog Doesn’t Want You to Know is a book like no other — a charming little book filled with heart-warming tales about dogs and the sometimes zany, sometimes nerve-wracking owners in their lives!”
(Terra Little Blogzine, November 2012)
“Things Your Dog Doesn’t Want You to Know is just hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. I was laughing so hard at some points that my kids were running over to find out what was so funny.”
(Proud Book Nerd, November 2012)